On Form

I’m busy filling in forms and ticking boxes. You have to fill in a form for everything here just in case you’ve changed your name or your sex or your place of birth since the last time you filled one in. As I tick the boxes, a wave of existential doubt comes crashing over me. Is this who I am? After all these years…?

For a start, I’ve always ticked the very first box under Income. That is, the lowest income on the list. I’ve never progressed to the second box and I’m not likely to now. On the other hand, I’m working my way through the Age Bracket list like nobody’s business.

As for Occupation, I’ve been Student, Teacher, Bookshop Assistant, Housewife and Unemployed…more or less in that order.

My hobbies haven’t changed. Much as I would like to tick sewing, painting or winter sports, I’ve only ever been good at reading and listening to music…

Children have their boxes too. One child. Two. Three dependent children. Tick, tick, tick…I’ve ticked off all their childhood illnesses: chickenpox, measles and that one where they keep you up all night coughing. Soon I’ll have to uncheck the boxes because they will no longer be dependent and I will no longer be needed.

For years I ticked Single in the Marital Status box then ten years ago, I proudly began ticking Married. From next month I’ll be ticking Separated. It’s only a matter of time before I’ll be ticking “Mlle” (Miss) again instead of “Mme” (Mrs) with a damp, smudged and rather shaky tick…

Oooh. I feel really depressed now. I think I feel a poem coming on.

I'll be back in a tick...