Friday, January 05, 2007

Je ne sais plus...

There is so much to see through my French Windows but today all I can see is him:


How does one fall out of love? Can anybody tell me? I have been trying my best for the past two years but I just can’t get the hang of it.

I’ve tried Regression (remember when he did this to you…?) but that only works if you have a really selective memory.

I’ve tried Visualisation (a couple of strategically-placed sharp objects and a heavy duty pinch clamp for example) but all I can see are his blue eyes crinkling up at the corners when he smiled.

I’ve tried Denial (you never really loved him) but then how come my heart is just a gob of raw mincemeat now?

I’ve tried Demonizing him – but he never was an angel and I fell in love with him anyway.

I’m doing my best to Detach but there’s this bit of me that is firmly stuck and I pull and I pull but it just won’t come away.


So – tell me…how does one fall out of love? It can’t be that difficult…after all, he managed to do it in no time at all…

8 comments:

angela said...

When I enlarged your photo i really got a touch of vertigo...
I sympathise with the love thing.
The only thing that worked for me was telling myself that I'm worth more and better until in the end I did believe it.
Angela

Gigi said...

I must get walking again...we used to walk a lot in the mountains but I'm so unfit now I can barely walk to my car! I suppose I was feeling a bit sorry for myself last night...and I think I overdid the Côtes du Rhône...feel much better today though!

Open Grove Claudia said...

Men can be very concrete - a relationship is on or off. But trust me, having worked as a therapist for this side of forever, I bet he isn't as "over" it as you think.

You should also know that you are allowed to still love him. It's Ok to still love him. In fact, you are a better person for it. Maybe if you allow yourself to love him, you'll be able to let him go.

Gigi said...

Hmm...thanks Claudia...I'll see what I can do...

Sarah said...

Shakespeare knew a thing or two
"Men were deceivers ever; One foot in sea, and one on shore; To one thing constant never."

Good luck getting over him even though you may never stop loving him.

Gigi said...

thanks Sarah...funnily enough, my sister sent me that quote when this all started! I bet Shakespeare was just the same, though...

sarahcascard said...

You are a good person and you have to own it and accept it. No one is perfect but there is beauty in imperfections. Never put yourself down. You were created by the Creator and there is nothing ugly in that.
Listen to some soothing music
www.myspace.com/maikowatsonmusic
Thanks

Gigi said...

Thank you Sara (Cascard)...I certainly need a bit of soothing music...not much of that in a houseful of teenagers:-)