As if it wasn’t bad enough having to deal with the fact that my Wayward Spouse has just decided to leave me for good, last night I had a bat in the flat…
Not a baseball bat or a cricket bat, you understand – although those particular weapons – um, I mean articles of sports equipment - do play a large part in my current fantasies. No – I mean those flappy, mousey animals with wings. Bats.
I thought that moving to a third-floor flat would put an end to Sugar (Sugar by name, blood-crazed psychocat by nature), bringing in birds and mice and other delicacies. Well, it did. But now they come to Sugar.
What silly, silly creature flies into the arms –oops, I mean paws – of a predator ? What was the bat thinking as she lay there squeaking helplessly, allowing herself to be toyed with, tossed into the air, up and down, backwards and forwards ? Why didn’t she try to escape then ?
Eventually, Sugar got bored and left to curl up on the sofa and dream of birds. Birds are prettier and they sing. More fun than silly old bats.
Meanwhile, the bat lay gasping, battered, her bruised heart fluttering in pain…
But guess what ? She survived ! She crawled to a safe place between the wall and the cupboard where Sugar couldn’t reach her and waited quietly.
She’s not there this morning. I hope she felt the cool, sweet air coming in from the balcony and heard the rustling of the breeze in the honeysuckle.
I hope she took flight and glided gracefully into the night.
Safe.
Free.
Reader, I was blind. I was as blind as a bat…
7 comments:
I would comment but......
I'd be too worried that I'd say something horrible like... "Can you eat bats?" or "How do you cook a bat?"
And that would probably upset a lot of people so I won't say anything remotely like that at all!
Anyway, it's nice to be the first commenter (that's very important, that is!) and even nicer to see you blogging again (and next time, don't leave it so long!)
I've been checking in daily, patiently waiting for lots more posts about you startling drunken random strangers sleeping on your sofa (having been sick in the bathroom) - little treats like that are what makes my world go round!
All the best
Keith
Thank you for being the first commenter, Keith!
Yes, I've had a pretty horrendous year, what with problem teenagers and a Wayward Husband who can't admit he's in the throes of a massive Mid-Life Crisis.
But like the bat, I survived...and now that I've freed up enough headspace to get on with my life, I promise you I'll be writing more :-)
But there will be no more drunken strangers sleeping on MY sofa!
Keith,
I expect bats to taste like chicken. They say everything else does. And then they cover it with garlic and sauce.
Gigi,
I boarded up my fireplace, on somebody's instructions who shall remain nameless, and a starling promptly flew down thr chimney. So I had to unboard and the open the windows. No bats though. Millions of ants this year. The painter disturbed them in the walls. They don't half stink when you suck them up with the vaccuum cleaner. It's been going on all week. Only the Swiss eat ants. There's a kind of chocolate bar you can get with ants in it. Unless it was April 1st when I saw it.
Why not enter my John Lennon competition and give peace a chance. that's more important than wayward relatives.
gwilym
Are you sure about the ant chocolate, Gwilym???? Must have quite a bite...hmmm.
I escaped from the bat last night by running into my bedroom. And guess what? There was another one in there. Fits the metaphor perfectly, don't you think? I slept in my daughter's room and I don't know when I'll dare go back to mine. I'll have to wait until it dies of old age, I suppose...how long do you think they live?
I'll pop along to your site in a minute but there's no way I can write anything about giving peace a chance. Giving murder a chance maybe or sadistic torture...but not peace. Not right now. Sorry...:-)
If it's any consolation, I only came alive when my own wayward spouse suggested we divorce. A life spent waiting for another is no life.
For the bats, don't they hate high-pitched noise? Do you have a violin in the flat??
Glad to see you blogging again. :)
Well, it has only been two weeks. I imagine the pain will fade eventually. I don't want a divorce...
Thank goodness for Bongo, that's what I say...
Unfortunately, I only have a viola in the house...not high-pitched enough :-) I could always scream, I suppose...that comes easily at the moment :-)
Oh Gigi, I'm glad you're beginning to see the light again and hope that life will be happy for you soon.
As for bats or any other unfortunate catprey I find a few drops of Bach Rescue Remedy perks them up - and failing that a little brandy in water.
Of course, both remedies work quite well on humans as well but I'd recommend neat brandy and more than a little. . . . .
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