I read somewhere that the tradition of New Year's Resolutions was inherited from the ancient Babylonians, who believed that what a person did on the first day of the New Year would affect the entire year. Apparently, the most popular resolution at that time was to return borrowed farm equipment. And here’s me thinking they were a bunch of decadent whores…
With a suitable holier-than-thou expression:
I bring you my Resolutions:
- I will not procrastinate
- I will stop dieting (and before you keel over laughing, I've been dieting all my life so how come I'm now fatter than I've ever been, eh?)
- I will learn to do housework
- I will prepare my lessons more than fifteen minutes in advance (oops, better get cracking)
- I will defrost the freezer
- I will not involve kitchen knives, boiling oil (even if it's olive), nutcrackers and my absent husband in the same fantasy
- I will return that Massey Ferguson combine harvester I've had in the garage for six months
There we go. Sorted.
